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Love Pain

Title: Love Pain
Author: Zakari
Rating: PG I don't believe anything is really rated G
Pairings: Taemin/Minho, Minho/DBSK Changmin. DBSK Changmin/Kyuhyun, Kyuhyn/Zhou Mi (all one sided)
Genre: Romance, one sided love, one shot
Disclaimer: I don't own SM, SHINee, Super Junior, or DBSK
Summary: Four interconnected stories about  young men learn to deal with one sided love and what it brings

Taemin

Taemin did one final stretch before wiping the sweat off of his face. He couldn’t believe that it was still 6 months until their comeback and yet Rino made them practice the new dance every day.  He stretched his arms above his head and let out a loud sigh. His sigh echoed around the practice room. Luckily for him, Minho and Rino didn’t notice. They were on the dance floor going over the moves over and over. Taemin’s eyes landed on Minho. The older boy was grimacing as Rino tried to explain the move in a mix of broken Korean and English, with a little Japanese thrown in. Taemin sighed again at how beautiful Minho was when he was concentrating. The line in his brow, his usually soft eyes hardened and focused. Taemin watched in awe as Minho and Rino began doing the move again. He loved watching Minho move. Minho’s height and musculature gave him a grace and aura that Taemin would never have. Taemin was totally lost in Minho’s perfection when he felt something hit him on the back of the head.

“Earth to Taemin. HELLO????? I called your name like twenty times in a row”

Taemin turned to find Key standing behind him.

“Oh, hi Kibum hyung. I didn’t see you there.”

Key took a look at the dance floor and then let out a little laugh. “Obviously you didn’t. His Royal Highness Minho’s got all your attention huh?”

Taemin tried to ignore Key’s teasing. Sometimes Taemin regretted telling Key about his love for Minho. Key could be a little mean, but at least Taemin could trust that he wouldn’t blab to anyone else.

“Well it’s not like he likes me or pays attention to me really or anything” Taemin said dejectedly.

Key rolled his eyes. “That’s because you haven’t told him how you really feel. How do you know he doesn’t like you?”

Taemin didn’t answer, but he knew that Minho liked someone else. He overheard Minho talking on the phone to someone. Taemin remembered the passion in Minho’s voice and the tears that ran down his face.

“I just know ok? It doesn’t matter. It’s just a little crush. It will go away someday.” Taemin said.

Key was not convinced. “Uh huh. Why don’t we test it?” Key turned toward the dance floor. “Hey Minho-ah, Taemin wants to tell you something!”

Minho turned toward Taemin. Taemin swore that his heart stopped beating at the moment.

“I, uh, um, you look great hyung. I think the dance is coming together well.” Taemin stuttered.

Minho smiled. “Thanks Taeminnie. That means a lot coming from you.” Then he went back to practicing.

“Ya! Kim Kibum, why did you do that?” Taemin angrily asked Key.

Key laughed.  “You have to tell him someday or it’s going to kill you. Don’t be mad Taemin-Ah, let’s go get food. It’s chicken so we’d better hurry or Onew-hyung will eat it all.”
Taemin took one last longing look at Minho and sighed. “Fine hyung, but don’t expect me to speak to you for the rest of the day or tomorrow!”
“I’m just looking for you. Come on. Taemin. Taeeeeeminnnie. You will have to talk to me sometime.” Key responded.

Minho

Minho was always the last one to leave the studio. It had been that way since he recovered from his leg injury. He wanted to prove to everyone, including himself that he was still strong.

“Break. Lunch now.” Rino said in her normal broken Korean.

Minho nods as the choreographer leaves the room. Minho examined himself in the mirror. His eyes are red and blood shot. The skin under his eyes was puffy and bloated. He hated being like this. Crying over someone. It wasn’t not like Minho. He didn’t cry and pine for someone. But then again, Minho had never felt this way about someone. He’d never met someone who gave him butterflies or who made him stumble over his words or made him want to act cute. It actually turned Minho’s stomach, but he couldn’t help it. There was just something about Changmin that made him act like an idiot. That was until Changmin broke his heart and now all he could do was cry. Minho hated that the conversation always replayed in his head.

“Hyung, I love you.”

“Minho I’m flattered, but I just can’t return your feelings right now. You are great and if things were different, I’d be with you, but I can’t now.”

“Why not? I don’t understand.”

“I’m sorry. I love someone else. It wouldn’t be fair to you for me to be with you when I feel this way about someone else. “

“Is it Kyuhyun?”

“I’m sorry Minho-Ah.”
“What is so great about him? He is mean and does nothing but play video games!”
“It’s hard to explain. I-I’m sorry. That’s all I can say. I need to go.”
“Chanimin wait. Please. I love you.”

Minho’s eyes filled with tears before he even realized it. He had never called Changmin anything but hyung before that night. He  tried to call Changmin several times since then. Sometimes he hangs up after the first ring, sometimes he hangs up before the voice mail message. He can’t seem to bring himself to leave a message or talk to Changmin even though he wants to. He wants to tell Changmin how much he loves him and how they’d be good together, but the words never seem to come. Only the tears come.

“Hyung? Are you ok?”

Minho turned to find Taemin standing in the doorway of the studio. Minho wiped the tears from his face.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you coming to lunch? I managed to save you some, though Onew hyung is eyeing it.”

Minho smiled slightly. “Thanks Taemin. You are always looking out for me.”

“Well wouldn’t want you to starve hyung. You need your strength.”

“You’re right Taemin. I do.” Minho said as he ruffled the younger man’s hair.

Changmin

“Hyung! To your left! Snipers! Throw a grenade!!” Changmin heard through his headset. He clumsily pushed the buttons on his controller. The screen light up with the explosion.

“Yeah! You got em!” Kyuhyun said excitedly.

“Yeah but barely. Pay attention Min. I’m not restarting this level because you can’t keep your head out of your butt” The other voice said in Changmin’s headset. The other voice belonged to Heechul. Heechul was not patient with Changmin’s noob behavior.

Kyuhyun laughed.” Hee-nim, calm down. You are going to have an early heart attack if you keep getting upset about stuff like this. At least Changmin is better at this than Siwon-hyung. He never wanted to kill any of the enemy soilders.”
“If fumbling through and almost shooting me seven times is what you call “better”, then yes I guess he is better.” Heechul said dryly.

“Sorry guys. I’ll get better.” Changmin said. He usually was very snarky and had the best comebacks, but something about Heechul intimidated him.

“No sweat. We all can’t be as good as queen Hee-nim.” Kyuhyun said jokingly.

“We’ll see who’s laughing when I tell Teukkie that you would LOVE to be on dishes duty tonight.”

“Yes Your Highness. I’ll stop now.” Kyuhyun said, trying to suppress his giggles. “Hey Changmin-hyung, you should come over for dinner some time.”

Changmin didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t been in the Super Junior dorm in a long time. Not since those three left. He thought about the fun all 18 of them had that night, playing random board games and laughing like idiots.

“Come on hyung it will be fun. Hee-nim may even cook for you.”

“Not on your life model boy. Not on your life.” Heechul said quickly.

“Ok fine. Ryeowook would be glad to cook for you.” Kyuhyun said.

Changmin thought for a minute. He really wanted to spend time with Kyuhyun. He had been in love with Kyuhyun since right after the contract dispute broke out. He had been alone crying in an empty office of the SM building when Kyuhyun came in and gave him a Coke. It was such a small gesture, but it meant so much to Changmin. Since then, the two had started to text each other and now they were video game buddies, though Changmin was more of a Super Mario Brothers kind of guy. Call of Duty was Kyuhyun’s new obsession, but it mostly confused Changmin, especially because it involved Heechul.

“Maybe. My schedule is busy. Maybe you should have dinner with us. It will be a chance for you to get a little peace and quiet.”

“Hmmm, that actually might work. I haven’t really spent much time with you or Yunho-hyung in a while. It sounds like fun actually.”

Heechul made a noise of disgust. “Ok, I’m going go now so you two can make your little date. I have adoring Twitter followers to talk to anyway. Ciao.” And with that, Heechul’s name disappeared from the screen.

“Heechul can be so-“

“Controlling? Bossy? Annoying? Mean?” Kyuhyun said finishing Changmin’s sentence.

Changmin laughed. “So anyway, I think Yunho is pretty busy with his drama. It could be just us for dinner right? I’ll make you my specialty. Maybe next week? Friday?” Changmin didn’t really have a specialty. JaeJoong had done all the cooking. Him and Yunho were getting by on instant ramen, take out and gifts from fans. Neither had the energy to learn to cook though Changmin thought that Kyuhyun would be plenty of motivation.

“Well ok. That works for me.” Kyuhyun said.

Changmin felt a huge smile creep across his face. He was finally going to be totally alone with Kyuhyun. No Yunho, no 12 Super Junior boys, no Lee Soo Min, no talk show hosts.  He felt totally overjoyed plus it gave him a week to learn how to cook something edible.

“Great. Shall we say 7:30?”

“Sure! Oh hyung, do you mind if I bring Zhou Mi?”

Changmin felt his heart drop. Zhou Mi? Why would Kyuhyun want to bring Zhou Mi?

“I mean you can say no,” Kyuhyun continued. “I just thought he would enjoy it too. I mean he’s been having a hard time with antis and all. Maybe you can talk to him some?”

Changmin wanted to say no. He wanted to say “hell no Kyu. I want it to be just us because I’m crazy about you and I want to spend every free moment with you. I told someone else no for you. Don’t you understand?” but he didn’t dare say that. Instead, before his heart could realize what his brain was doing, he said the words he really didn’t want to say.

“Sure. You can bring him. It will be – fun.” Changmin said, his voice trailing off.

“Thanks hyung. I really appreciate it. I’ll see you at 7:30 on Friday. I’ll bring a great white wine I got in Italy so make fish. I gotta go. Teukkie hyung is complaining about cleaning or something again. Later!” And just like that, Kyuhyun was gone.

Changmin threw his controller and headset down in frustration. Instead of a romantic evening with the man he was in love with (who was obviously oblivious to Changmin’s feelings), he was going to have to spend the evening cheering up Zhou Mi. He wondered if it was possible for him to come down with Ebola between now and Friday.

Kyuhyun

Kyuhyun lay on his bed with his eyes closed listening to Zhou Mi hum that song. Zhou Mi was always singing or humming the same song. The lyrics where in a Chinese dialect that Kyuhyun didn’t recognize, but he was always mesmerized when he heard that song.

“Mi mi, what is that song about?” Kyuhyun asked, opening his eyes.
Zhou Mi put down the shirt he was folding and thought. “It’s about a woman whose love went far away before she could tell him that she loved him. It’s really a sad song. It’s old. My grandmother used to sing it all the time.”

“It’s pretty. I like when you sing it.” Kyuhyun said sitting up.

“Thanks though I don’t think everyone around here feels the same. Hee-nim told me that if he hears that song one more time he was going to punch me.” Zhou Mi responded. Then he smiled and added with a wink, “I’ll make sure I only sing it for you.”

Kyuhyun smiled back. He loved it when Zhou Mi sang or smiled or talked or did anything. Really, he just loved Zhou Mi.  He had always had some kind of feelings for Zhou Mi, but they really turned into love during the Super Girl promotions last year.

“Kyu, can I ask you a love question?” Zhou Mi asked out of no where. He didn’t want for Kyuhyun to respond before going on. “What would you do if you liked someone but you are pretty sure the other person doesn’t feel the same way?”

Kyuhyun held his breath for what seemed like forever. His brain was trying to tell him that Zhou Mi probably wasn’t talking about him, but his heart wouldn’t listen.

Zhou Mi continued. “The other person is a good friend and we’re really close I just don’t think they feel the same about me. I’m not sure if I should confess or not. I don’t want to be heart broken. Also I’m worried about all my anti’s. They like to make people’s lives hell, especially people associated with me.”

“Well if you really like the person, maybe it’s best to just confess. You never know right?” Kyuhyun said. As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew he should take his own advice.

Zhou Mi sat down on the bed next to Kyuhyun. “You are right. Why are you always right? I should just do it.”

Kyuhyun swallowed hard. “What? No witty come back? What has gotten into you?” Zhou Mi said as he playfully pushed Kyuhyun.

“Mi, I need to tell you something. For a long time I-” Just as Kyuhyun was about to pour his heart out, Zhou Mi’s phone rang.

“Go on. It seem serious” Zhou Mi said.

“No answer your phone. What if it is your mommy?” Kyuhyun replied, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Zhou Mi climbed off the bed and answered the phone. He watched Kyuhyun with concerned eyes as he left the room.
Kyuhyun laid back down on the bed with his hands over his eyes. What was he doing?

A few minutes later Zhou Mi came back in the room.

“What were you saying Kyu?” Zhou Mi said with no trace of a smile on his face.

“Who was on the phone? Was it your mom?” Kyuhyun asked, trying to avoid going back to his confession.

“No it was- it’s not important. What were you going to say?” Zhou Mi said, his eyes never leaving Kyuhyun’s face.

Instead of saying another word, Kyuhyun pulled Zhou Mi close and kissed him. He could feel tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He finally had that moment of clarity that he hadn’t had in a long time. When the kiss finished, Kyuhyun finally managed to say, “I love you.”

Zhou Mi was speechless. “Kyu, I don’t know what to say. I-“

Kyuhyun stopped him. “It’s ok if you like someone else. It’s ok if you don’t feel the same way I do right now.  What we have right now is enough for me. I just wanted to tell you how I felt before you went away.”

Zhou Mi just stared at Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun couldn’t believe that he had finally said it. He smiled sadly at Zhou Mi. Just then Zhou Mi’s phone rang again.

“Go ahead and answer it. I’ll be ok.”

Zhou Mi nodded and answered the phone. “Hello? Henry. Hey, listen can you meet me now? There’s something I need to tell you.”

Kyuhyun watched Zhou Mi walk out the door before the tears came. He put his face into his pillow and cried until he couldn’t squeeze another tear out. He was crying partially from a broken heart and partially because he had finally said the words that sat so heavy on his heart. He had meant every word. Just being near Zhou Mi was enough.